Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Disclaimer:  Warning, swears in spots and some details that might be TMI, but it is how the story needs to be told.  Cover your eyes if you don't wanna see.  LOL.  And, if it weren't for the fact that I have told my friends to let me know when they think I am losing my mind, I am going to tell a story that makes me doubt my own sanity.

The Ride of my Life

As many of you know, I have been fighting illness most of my life beginning with the discovery at 12 that I was born with one kidney and developed swelling below the knees in the form of a genetic disease known as Lymphedema.  In the world of healers, some would have you believe this can all be fixed, but I've just let it all grow on me because I have learned some valuable lessons while being as ill as I find myself these days.

I have behaved poorly in my past, and have come to learn many things about myself right up until this very moment.  My past is what made me the woman I am today, and my Spirit is FABULOUS for it!

Over the past couple of years I have found myself saying, "I have never felt the same since my hysterectomy in January 2010".  And, since that time, my health has been on a steady decline.  The latest amounting to my hip going out about a week and a half ago.  As a matter of fact, I am waiting to see if I happened to have chipped the bone because I was complaining of pain.  I will be very surprised if there's a chip, only because I really think it's just the pain I have been experiencing these days.  It involves watching my feet, legs, arms, neck, and hands become laxer and laxer and requiring leg splints, which I am waiting to be fitted for.  Yesterday I put my right big toe back in, in two spots!!!!!!            Tell ya, that's my kinda fun!!!!

So, this past weekend found me growling (yes growling, 4 days of chronic pain will do that- pick a spot any spot, I believe my nose doesnt' hurt) over to the computer.  I Googled "what diseases causes pain and deterioration in ligaments in tendons" and was led to a blog.    It made me shutter.


http://stevezellers.wordpress.com/2009/05/25/deteriorating-tendons-causing-excrutiating-pain-throughout-the-entire-body-help-needed-research-funding-knowledge-awareness-support-groups/

I was looking at my life at what my future held because in the beginning of this blogged story, was where I am at.  Feeling like "if somebody doesn't figure this out, I am going to be in a wheelchair".
I was staring at my story.  Later on down the thread, I saw someone comment about if anyone had considered Cipro Toxicity and I froze.  More like the light bulb went off. 

Over the past many god knows how many years, I have been on and off Cipro because being born with one kidney has left me with a kidney that is one and a half times the size of a normal kidney and functions like two.  However, this has left me with a larger ureter (the tube from kidney to bladder), which leaves me more prone to bladder infections that go straight to my kidney.

Enter 2012 and a move to Cranbrook.  I was off on sick leave because I couldn't use my hands due to so much pain and distortion and my husband got laid off.  A job came up here and it couldn't have worked out better.

This is where the story starts to get amazing!  I got a new doctor!  A new set of eyes!  A new specialist!  A new set of eyes!

Well, last week I was in the doc's office following up with the aching hip and painful sacroiliac.  He ordered an x-ray to see if I may have chipped a bone putting it back in from subluxation (a partial dislocation sort of "half out").  I believe that the reason I am having the pain is because of everything under "attack" at the joint.  And not a chip.  I have begun to notice when I have a flare up that it's like the muscles start to tense up getting prepared to fight back against whatever is attacking almost ALL of my joints.  

Anyways, the doctor looked at me and read parts of the Specialist's most recent letter.  And I saw the letter and the parts he wasn't reading out were the notes on "depressed", "anxious", and "in need of psychiatry".  I really have a Doctor who is out of this world!   Because who wouldn't have flare-ups during the human experience and who wouldn't be depressed or anxious if their body really was falling apart and it is visibly noticeable!  Problem is, any of the tests shy of genetics testing (still a possibility) have come back negative.  So basically, we have been ruling things out and still left with nothing.  Yet, we have ruled things out which is fantastic!

Enter once again, the blog I mentioned above.  So, as I sit at this very moment the Doc has my 40 pages of information on Cipro Toxicity Syndrome.  I have had my hip x-ray and am waiting to see if it's chipped.  I follow up with my doctor next week and they are glancing the information over as a possibility as I write.  I have ordered my medication history from pharma net (you know you can go to a pharmacy and they can submit a request to be mailed direct to you - you learn alot of things being your own advocate these days).  The rest is in my Care Team's Hands. 

But, there is now medically based information available from a Toxicologist.

http://journals.lww.com/em-news/Fulltext/2008/10000/Adverse_Reactions_to_Fluoroquinolones.23.aspx


But here is where the story gets even more amazing!  You have no choice but to learn to take care of you the way you intuitively know how to.  And, believe it or not we all could stand to improve in that department.  So I am going to share what I've learned:

As you know, I work with energy (and yes please head up to the disclaimer once again - I am not having delusions, my friends know me to be sane).  I connect with people's energy and I connect with Loved Ones on the Other Side.  I predict earthquakes, and I can see what I call "coming down the pipe".  I always let people know that this is strictly what I am shown (thanks to my Care Team), and that their God Given Free Will can change it at any point and time.  It is strictly what I am shown.  What you choose to do with it is your own.

But, in order for me to do the work and not get drained I have to keep my auric field strong.  A good example is to consider this.  Have you ever been with someone who is an absolute drain on your energy?  Two things are happening.  One is you haven't put yourself in your own little "bubble" and, the other is the other person's "negative" energy entering your space, so imagine them in a bubble too.  That way you can hear what they are saying, but aren't impacted by it.  I began with imagining a set of angel wings around me, and then I imagined the other person surrounded in white.

So, as you would guess I am better at it some days and sometimes I get a reminder.  I can feel it when I've "let my guard down" and now go back to visualizations took keep myself tuned up.  And I get energy work done on me.  There are amazing Reiki masters out there.  Thanks to so many Healers working with me these days.

In the world of taking care of myself, I ask for help when I need it.  And, I am getting better at it!

I am having no choice to eat very strictly (a few concessions here or there but I have to prepare for a "flare up" because starch actually feeds the toxicity)  But, I just happen to love, love,  love fruits and veggies anyways.

This whole trip down illness has been an amazing ride, it really has!  Even on the dark days that come, I have learned to honor and accept them, do what is required which is rest (thank goodness for books and bookstands). 

If we could all get what we call "selfish" and take care of what our Spirit needs during this physical life, we would actually find ourselves being "selfless" because we are at our best and bringing out the best in each other.  What do you think?  Sound like fun?

One last note:

I have said on this journey that "you could kill my body, but you will never kill my  Spirit".  Through this physical journey I have learned I am saved by the Spirit within, my true Spirit and the Spirits that gather.  I am living a very Spirited Life and nothing hurts when I live it that way!  Doing my work pulls me out of my pain cycle, and that's why I have to do it every day. 

Even if it is on a small scale.  I really do have the most amazing life, and I know that I am now on my path to wellness and Oneness.

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