"The Bishop's Wife"
There are moments in life that take our breath away. And for me, today is no exception.
You see, miracles occur, and it goes above physical healing and straight to Spiritual Healing, healing of the soul..
Over the past 28 months I have watched my body deteriorate and it scares the hell out of me. And, today I was provided the space to just "be heard". No fixing. Just acceptance for where I was at in that moment.
For that space, I am eternally grateful. Because I was afforded that space something miraculous has occurred. Along my path, I have forgotten and today I was reminded.
The grapplings of the human experience involve ego, and I have been right in the middle of allowing the Saboteur to reside, and now that part of me has been exposed. So, I am going to share the experience in hopes that anyone, everyone, will come to know the role Saboteur can play in all of our human experience.
As I've said, I have watched my health decline, severely, over the last 28 months. My first symptom showed up in July of 2010 in the form of a swollen sore finger. This was followed by a deterioration of the joints in that finger. And, over this span, not only has it happened to one, it has happened to all. This has carried on further with atrocious pain at my heels, followed by the joints in my feet deteriorating. The deterioration is in almost every joint in my body. My hair has only grown one inch since December of 2011. And presently, any hair that has fallen out has not been replaced, and my hair is thinning. My muscles twitch (pick one any one), I suffer pins and needles and pain at the joints that are deteriorating.
My recent visit to a vascular specialist has concluded that I do not have MS. I have Chronic Migraine Syndrome, and it was explained that the nerves in my body have created an unclear message. The Specialist likened nerves to a radio. When you find the station, the signal is clear. Put a dial between two stations and there is static. My body is in "static" mode.
We have ruled a great many things out, and yet I still have asked "why"it's happening. "Why" is a grapple with ego. I have always asked why, when instead, maybe I should be accepting of the well known resonance of life. Things happen for a reason, and while we might not know "why", we must rest knowing we are in good hands. There are lessons to be had in all experiences, and that the lesson will always be revealed.
Some people in my past would say I deserve it. I have come to accept it as part of my journey. Nobody deserves illness, it is written in our course. Sometimes we are able to be healed, and sometimes it is written that we are not.
Lightworkers are known to take on the problems of the world, because that is what we have been born to do. But, in no way shape are form, are we meant to bring it into our bodies. We are to create Sacred Space in order to facilitate what a soul in our presence might need.
We are guided by Spirit at all times. And that goes for the rest that aren't Lightworkers. And here's where "The Bishop's Wife" comes in. Cue Cary Grant as the Angel sent to Earth to help others come to know True Joy. At the heart of True Joy is love. Cary Grant's characted Dudley stated, "There are Angels among us." And it couldn't be any closer to the truth than that for me, and, it is even stated in the Bible that angels have been sent down as messengers.
And I couldn't know that truth any more than I do at this minute. Tears are streaming down my face as I write this, because of True Joy and an extremely strong reminder from Spirit.
You see, along this journey I have once again forgotten who I am. And, ever so quietly, like they do for us all. Angels whisper softly, giving us the ideas that we claim for our own. THAT is also ego. Again, a message stated clear by "Dudley" that angels whisper in our ears to "help" us with the idea. Divine Inspiration.
I have been in pain, cold, numb, tingly, twitchy, and today, I have been reminded. And I feel that as a friend told me, it resonates on a molecular level.
I am Spirit. And in that, I am safe, and always taken care of. So, right here, right now, I tell you. I understand that I have been chosen as a vessel. A vessel for Spirit. And, in that, lies the "Hartt" of who I am.
I am a Messenger. A Messenger for Spirit.
I am going through a lesson right now. I know that I now can truly say that I know what it means to experience physical pain. I know what it means to experience mental pain, for I have cried so many tears of pain and fear during this experience. And, coming to a place of understanding about caring for our mental health. It has such a stigma around it, and I have eroded those walls. Physical, emotional, and Spiritual health is all part of our makeup. To say one has never had a mental health experience would be untrue. We have all met with challenges that have caused tears, frustration and breakdowns. Breakdowns for breakthroughs.
My physical experience has facilitated a need for the Changeways Program through Mental Health. It is about Cognitive Behavior, and that our Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions all work together. And, that by changing our actions, we are able to change our thoughts and feelings along with it.
I needed another tool for my toolbox as I haven't been coping well. Who would. And, knowing that Spirit works in mysterious ways, I am in that group for a reason that goes beyond that group and the benefits of that tool. Spirit works through me, and I know that I have been provided a learning experience. I am grateful.
You see, the action I take is connecting with Spirit. In that moment I don't hurt, and I am able to forget and be reminded of Spirit. Spirit working through me and for me. It is so I graciously move into that space of Unconditional Love so that I may better my mission. For me, that is the truest joy.
Spirit cares so much for me , and all of us, that they will give us what we need at just the appropriate time. Today was a day of self care. That involved watching a movie. Spirit once again facilitated a True Joy moment for me. I wasn't given this movie to watch "just because". My "new" grandparents are God loving grandparents where He truly resides in their hearts. They offered the movie as a source of comfort. And it was my kindly reminder.
Creator has now allowed me a "Port" in the storm. A place of safety. My gracious husband who has, regardless of my "coming out of the Medium closet", allowed me the space to be who I truly am. And who still loves me despite everything that is happening.
It truly was a miracle day. I have found peace on a level so deep that I know I am safe and that I truly am cared for. We all are.
And, while ego might pop its head up, Creator and the Heavenly Band of Angels will always be there to help me expose and burn it off, so that I may help to create Heaven on Earth through my actions.
They are There for all of us.
I am truly grateful for this day and, once again, for allowing Spirit to flow through me and onto this page in hopes of helping others realize they are not alone in the human experience.
We are all sharing it, and by our actions, we can "shift" together.
There are moments in life that take our breath away. And for me, today is no exception.
You see, miracles occur, and it goes above physical healing and straight to Spiritual Healing, healing of the soul..
Over the past 28 months I have watched my body deteriorate and it scares the hell out of me. And, today I was provided the space to just "be heard". No fixing. Just acceptance for where I was at in that moment.
For that space, I am eternally grateful. Because I was afforded that space something miraculous has occurred. Along my path, I have forgotten and today I was reminded.
The grapplings of the human experience involve ego, and I have been right in the middle of allowing the Saboteur to reside, and now that part of me has been exposed. So, I am going to share the experience in hopes that anyone, everyone, will come to know the role Saboteur can play in all of our human experience.
As I've said, I have watched my health decline, severely, over the last 28 months. My first symptom showed up in July of 2010 in the form of a swollen sore finger. This was followed by a deterioration of the joints in that finger. And, over this span, not only has it happened to one, it has happened to all. This has carried on further with atrocious pain at my heels, followed by the joints in my feet deteriorating. The deterioration is in almost every joint in my body. My hair has only grown one inch since December of 2011. And presently, any hair that has fallen out has not been replaced, and my hair is thinning. My muscles twitch (pick one any one), I suffer pins and needles and pain at the joints that are deteriorating.
My recent visit to a vascular specialist has concluded that I do not have MS. I have Chronic Migraine Syndrome, and it was explained that the nerves in my body have created an unclear message. The Specialist likened nerves to a radio. When you find the station, the signal is clear. Put a dial between two stations and there is static. My body is in "static" mode.
We have ruled a great many things out, and yet I still have asked "why"it's happening. "Why" is a grapple with ego. I have always asked why, when instead, maybe I should be accepting of the well known resonance of life. Things happen for a reason, and while we might not know "why", we must rest knowing we are in good hands. There are lessons to be had in all experiences, and that the lesson will always be revealed.
Some people in my past would say I deserve it. I have come to accept it as part of my journey. Nobody deserves illness, it is written in our course. Sometimes we are able to be healed, and sometimes it is written that we are not.
Lightworkers are known to take on the problems of the world, because that is what we have been born to do. But, in no way shape are form, are we meant to bring it into our bodies. We are to create Sacred Space in order to facilitate what a soul in our presence might need.
We are guided by Spirit at all times. And that goes for the rest that aren't Lightworkers. And here's where "The Bishop's Wife" comes in. Cue Cary Grant as the Angel sent to Earth to help others come to know True Joy. At the heart of True Joy is love. Cary Grant's characted Dudley stated, "There are Angels among us." And it couldn't be any closer to the truth than that for me, and, it is even stated in the Bible that angels have been sent down as messengers.
And I couldn't know that truth any more than I do at this minute. Tears are streaming down my face as I write this, because of True Joy and an extremely strong reminder from Spirit.
You see, along this journey I have once again forgotten who I am. And, ever so quietly, like they do for us all. Angels whisper softly, giving us the ideas that we claim for our own. THAT is also ego. Again, a message stated clear by "Dudley" that angels whisper in our ears to "help" us with the idea. Divine Inspiration.
I have been in pain, cold, numb, tingly, twitchy, and today, I have been reminded. And I feel that as a friend told me, it resonates on a molecular level.
I am Spirit. And in that, I am safe, and always taken care of. So, right here, right now, I tell you. I understand that I have been chosen as a vessel. A vessel for Spirit. And, in that, lies the "Hartt" of who I am.
I am a Messenger. A Messenger for Spirit.
I am going through a lesson right now. I know that I now can truly say that I know what it means to experience physical pain. I know what it means to experience mental pain, for I have cried so many tears of pain and fear during this experience. And, coming to a place of understanding about caring for our mental health. It has such a stigma around it, and I have eroded those walls. Physical, emotional, and Spiritual health is all part of our makeup. To say one has never had a mental health experience would be untrue. We have all met with challenges that have caused tears, frustration and breakdowns. Breakdowns for breakthroughs.
My physical experience has facilitated a need for the Changeways Program through Mental Health. It is about Cognitive Behavior, and that our Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions all work together. And, that by changing our actions, we are able to change our thoughts and feelings along with it.
I needed another tool for my toolbox as I haven't been coping well. Who would. And, knowing that Spirit works in mysterious ways, I am in that group for a reason that goes beyond that group and the benefits of that tool. Spirit works through me, and I know that I have been provided a learning experience. I am grateful.
You see, the action I take is connecting with Spirit. In that moment I don't hurt, and I am able to forget and be reminded of Spirit. Spirit working through me and for me. It is so I graciously move into that space of Unconditional Love so that I may better my mission. For me, that is the truest joy.
Spirit cares so much for me , and all of us, that they will give us what we need at just the appropriate time. Today was a day of self care. That involved watching a movie. Spirit once again facilitated a True Joy moment for me. I wasn't given this movie to watch "just because". My "new" grandparents are God loving grandparents where He truly resides in their hearts. They offered the movie as a source of comfort. And it was my kindly reminder.
Creator has now allowed me a "Port" in the storm. A place of safety. My gracious husband who has, regardless of my "coming out of the Medium closet", allowed me the space to be who I truly am. And who still loves me despite everything that is happening.
It truly was a miracle day. I have found peace on a level so deep that I know I am safe and that I truly am cared for. We all are.
And, while ego might pop its head up, Creator and the Heavenly Band of Angels will always be there to help me expose and burn it off, so that I may help to create Heaven on Earth through my actions.
They are There for all of us.
I am truly grateful for this day and, once again, for allowing Spirit to flow through me and onto this page in hopes of helping others realize they are not alone in the human experience.
We are all sharing it, and by our actions, we can "shift" together.
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