Multiverse

So today, finding myself a little frustrated (ego), I delved into the one thing that ALWAYS cheers me up.  My cards.  And today the Faeries had something to say.  You see, along with a fun distraction, I was provided some some insight that I thought I would share.  You see, it's not just about being a better Medium, it's about being a better person.  A person that looks at things from a Higher perspective.  One in harmony with Spirit.  And wanting to be the example of the change I wish to see in the Universe, I am changing the Universe's name to Multiverse.

Today I drew card 38 in Brian Froud's 'The Faeries' Oracle'.  Moon's Daughter.  And it speaks to Illumination and Riddles of the Self, and Spiritual Guidance.

In my quest to remove ego from my life I have asked for the chinks in my armor to be exposed so I am able to re-align my thinking in a more harmonious way  and today's information struck me.  Multiverse.

That word resonated with me because it really is true if we stop and think about it.  In our quest to rid ourselves of ego, we have a "You" in Universe.  This speaks to singular.  So how about this, we are part of a Multiverse as a Youniverse.  The Youniverse speaking to our own unique paths and stories, and the Multiverse in acknowledgment that every single one of us is connected.  We are a multiverse.  And, what we put out is what is reflected in our lives.  And, in running ego in our lives, we are Self-Centered and not aligning with Spirit.

I ask of you this.  I hear everyone complaining about this and that, and look at the state of our poor planet and it's surrounding space.  What if, maybe, just maybe, through all of our trials and tribulations, we learn to think about them differently in order to experience life in a more "joyful" way.  And this means everyone's life. 

Be a better person.  Ask for help from your Angels to bring to the surface any hidden or shadow parts so we may acknowledge them, and see how they help us or harm us.  It's okay to have shadow parts, we all do.  That's the human experience.  Imperfection and ego.  But, beyond that goes a better planet when we start building better people. 

All we are asked is to do what we love and enjoy this crazy ride.  And, help everyone out along the way.  Be kind.  Speak gently.  To yourself and others.  Love loving a Spirited Life.  Because from that perspective, we are unstoppable.

Have an absolutely roller coaster of an amazing day!

Letting Go............

Loss happens.  To everyone.  It can be horrific.  It can be graceful.  We will never know the end of our story until we are there.  But, for certain, the ones left behind mourn.  It is perfectly natural.  We are not "desensitized" to our close loved ones leaving.  It can be traumatic for some.  And loving for others.  This blog is not just about learning to let our loved ones go so they can come back.  It is also learning to let go when times of worry or concern come up.  Trusting we are in great hands.  The hands of the Universe.  However you choose to see it.

In the process of working through my own grief after my father returning Home.  I recently discovered that, on my path to wellness, I hadn't truly let him go.  I didn't even know I hadn't until someone hit a nerve.  And it was a blessed thing.

Some while back, I had the honor of finding myself in the middle of a ceremony.  A ceremony to release a soul.  So, here I was surrounded by drumbeats, asking my father to forgive me.  It had just been not long after his angelversary and I didn't feel like I could feel him around anymore.  And, in the middle of my "flare-ups"  I look at his picture and ask him to help.  Hell, I practically beg him. 

Anyways, when I was asked to be forgiven for keeping him Here.  That little niggly spot popped up.  I knew something hidden (that's what a blindspot is and sometimes we need someone else to help us get to it) had been reached.

I truly was keeping my father here through all of my begging and pleading.  For answers to my health problem.  So, I cut him away.  I want you to understand that it wasn't like he was in limbo.  It was he had been taken Home, and he let us know a week later he was good.  It had everything to do with me holding him back by calling on him ALL the time.  I was preventing him from moving completely into his role over There.  I was stifling it.  Which meant I was stifling my ability.  My Knee Jerk ego was interfering.  It was not true love I was operating under.

So, over the weekend that followed, I found myself walking upstairs to glance down at a dolphin that was from an adventure my parents had had.  It was a glaring reminder, and forever will be, of the time I assumed something and was given a Universal spanking.

It hit me.  I had my father's knee-jerk reaction as part of my personality.  And I really had to let that go in order to be helped in so many different ways.  The biggest of all is learning to look at someone with love.  At ALL times.  The world of Uncondintional.  I could not be the person I am if I was still hanging on to that.  Letting go.  Letting THAT and my dad go.  In other words, stop crying for help.  YOU have the answers.  Just let it go.

And you will never believe how my world has opened up since that moment.  It is truly unbelievable and I cannot wait to share!  I am truly humbled, and eternally grateful, to those who have facilitated some Spiritual Healing for a shining star.  Thank you for helping me shine.  Even brighter.  Than I EVER knew was possible.

Watch out world!

Disclaimer:  Warning, swears in spots and some details that might be TMI, but it is how the story needs to be told.  Cover your eyes if you don't wanna see.  LOL.  And, if it weren't for the fact that I have told my friends to let me know when they think I am losing my mind, I am going to tell a story that makes me doubt my own sanity.

The Ride of my Life

As many of you know, I have been fighting illness most of my life beginning with the discovery at 12 that I was born with one kidney and developed swelling below the knees in the form of a genetic disease known as Lymphedema.  In the world of healers, some would have you believe this can all be fixed, but I've just let it all grow on me because I have learned some valuable lessons while being as ill as I find myself these days.

I have behaved poorly in my past, and have come to learn many things about myself right up until this very moment.  My past is what made me the woman I am today, and my Spirit is FABULOUS for it!

Over the past couple of years I have found myself saying, "I have never felt the same since my hysterectomy in January 2010".  And, since that time, my health has been on a steady decline.  The latest amounting to my hip going out about a week and a half ago.  As a matter of fact, I am waiting to see if I happened to have chipped the bone because I was complaining of pain.  I will be very surprised if there's a chip, only because I really think it's just the pain I have been experiencing these days.  It involves watching my feet, legs, arms, neck, and hands become laxer and laxer and requiring leg splints, which I am waiting to be fitted for.  Yesterday I put my right big toe back in, in two spots!!!!!!            Tell ya, that's my kinda fun!!!!

So, this past weekend found me growling (yes growling, 4 days of chronic pain will do that- pick a spot any spot, I believe my nose doesnt' hurt) over to the computer.  I Googled "what diseases causes pain and deterioration in ligaments in tendons" and was led to a blog.    It made me shutter.


http://stevezellers.wordpress.com/2009/05/25/deteriorating-tendons-causing-excrutiating-pain-throughout-the-entire-body-help-needed-research-funding-knowledge-awareness-support-groups/

I was looking at my life at what my future held because in the beginning of this blogged story, was where I am at.  Feeling like "if somebody doesn't figure this out, I am going to be in a wheelchair".
I was staring at my story.  Later on down the thread, I saw someone comment about if anyone had considered Cipro Toxicity and I froze.  More like the light bulb went off. 

Over the past many god knows how many years, I have been on and off Cipro because being born with one kidney has left me with a kidney that is one and a half times the size of a normal kidney and functions like two.  However, this has left me with a larger ureter (the tube from kidney to bladder), which leaves me more prone to bladder infections that go straight to my kidney.

Enter 2012 and a move to Cranbrook.  I was off on sick leave because I couldn't use my hands due to so much pain and distortion and my husband got laid off.  A job came up here and it couldn't have worked out better.

This is where the story starts to get amazing!  I got a new doctor!  A new set of eyes!  A new specialist!  A new set of eyes!

Well, last week I was in the doc's office following up with the aching hip and painful sacroiliac.  He ordered an x-ray to see if I may have chipped a bone putting it back in from subluxation (a partial dislocation sort of "half out").  I believe that the reason I am having the pain is because of everything under "attack" at the joint.  And not a chip.  I have begun to notice when I have a flare up that it's like the muscles start to tense up getting prepared to fight back against whatever is attacking almost ALL of my joints.  

Anyways, the doctor looked at me and read parts of the Specialist's most recent letter.  And I saw the letter and the parts he wasn't reading out were the notes on "depressed", "anxious", and "in need of psychiatry".  I really have a Doctor who is out of this world!   Because who wouldn't have flare-ups during the human experience and who wouldn't be depressed or anxious if their body really was falling apart and it is visibly noticeable!  Problem is, any of the tests shy of genetics testing (still a possibility) have come back negative.  So basically, we have been ruling things out and still left with nothing.  Yet, we have ruled things out which is fantastic!

Enter once again, the blog I mentioned above.  So, as I sit at this very moment the Doc has my 40 pages of information on Cipro Toxicity Syndrome.  I have had my hip x-ray and am waiting to see if it's chipped.  I follow up with my doctor next week and they are glancing the information over as a possibility as I write.  I have ordered my medication history from pharma net (you know you can go to a pharmacy and they can submit a request to be mailed direct to you - you learn alot of things being your own advocate these days).  The rest is in my Care Team's Hands. 

But, there is now medically based information available from a Toxicologist.

http://journals.lww.com/em-news/Fulltext/2008/10000/Adverse_Reactions_to_Fluoroquinolones.23.aspx


But here is where the story gets even more amazing!  You have no choice but to learn to take care of you the way you intuitively know how to.  And, believe it or not we all could stand to improve in that department.  So I am going to share what I've learned:

As you know, I work with energy (and yes please head up to the disclaimer once again - I am not having delusions, my friends know me to be sane).  I connect with people's energy and I connect with Loved Ones on the Other Side.  I predict earthquakes, and I can see what I call "coming down the pipe".  I always let people know that this is strictly what I am shown (thanks to my Care Team), and that their God Given Free Will can change it at any point and time.  It is strictly what I am shown.  What you choose to do with it is your own.

But, in order for me to do the work and not get drained I have to keep my auric field strong.  A good example is to consider this.  Have you ever been with someone who is an absolute drain on your energy?  Two things are happening.  One is you haven't put yourself in your own little "bubble" and, the other is the other person's "negative" energy entering your space, so imagine them in a bubble too.  That way you can hear what they are saying, but aren't impacted by it.  I began with imagining a set of angel wings around me, and then I imagined the other person surrounded in white.

So, as you would guess I am better at it some days and sometimes I get a reminder.  I can feel it when I've "let my guard down" and now go back to visualizations took keep myself tuned up.  And I get energy work done on me.  There are amazing Reiki masters out there.  Thanks to so many Healers working with me these days.

In the world of taking care of myself, I ask for help when I need it.  And, I am getting better at it!

I am having no choice to eat very strictly (a few concessions here or there but I have to prepare for a "flare up" because starch actually feeds the toxicity)  But, I just happen to love, love,  love fruits and veggies anyways.

This whole trip down illness has been an amazing ride, it really has!  Even on the dark days that come, I have learned to honor and accept them, do what is required which is rest (thank goodness for books and bookstands). 

If we could all get what we call "selfish" and take care of what our Spirit needs during this physical life, we would actually find ourselves being "selfless" because we are at our best and bringing out the best in each other.  What do you think?  Sound like fun?

One last note:

I have said on this journey that "you could kill my body, but you will never kill my  Spirit".  Through this physical journey I have learned I am saved by the Spirit within, my true Spirit and the Spirits that gather.  I am living a very Spirited Life and nothing hurts when I live it that way!  Doing my work pulls me out of my pain cycle, and that's why I have to do it every day. 

Even if it is on a small scale.  I really do have the most amazing life, and I know that I am now on my path to wellness and Oneness.