Wednesday, December 29, 2010

For this coming year......

On my quest to view this world with the Oneness we come from (regardless of what your belief system is - science or religion-based we all come from the same origin), my library of spiritual armour is expanding. Here are the books I have on the go right now in order to love myself and add the necessary tools to my personal library:

Angels and Goddesses by Doreen Virtue (Ph.D.)
Temples on The Other Side by Sylvia Browne
Psychic Healing by Sylvia Browne
A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
A Course In Miracles by Bill Thetford and Helen Shucman - Urtext Version

At this particular moment, Angels and Goddesses by Doreen Virtue (Ph.D.) has my strongest pull (I read the others each day too, just not as much). I have to say, that after reading Ms. Virtue's account of one particular New Year's section, I am now motivated to follow in her footsteps. She and her husband had decided to do a ceremony to release themselves of anything. Ms. Virtue asked that "all of the old energy and imbalances be released fully". For me, that really seem to hit home. Only because it is such a loving act.

So as this year comes to an end, I ask that all of my old energy and imbalances be released fully.

What would that look like for someone like me? Well, as a child growing up in the school system, and an intuitive one at that, I know I personally was never one to color within the lines and had an extreme dislike for the rigidity of school. Was I and am I smart? Oh yes. As an adult, I had my IQ tested and it's 147. I just never applied myself because these weren't the real life situations other than to grow up and get a job. Having to conform to the best of my ability created great ego baggage of not being "good". We do this so well with our children today also in a system that is extremely broken. This has carried well into adulthood with all sorts of negative messages that run through my head whenever I throw a learning curve in. That's why I have now referred to this negative word of "mistake" into learning curve. Don't get me wrong, we must behave lovingly, but I am not going to be defined by "bad" or "good" any more. I release this energy. We are imperfect as human beings, that is the nature of life on this side, but we can work towards a loving planet. The only true energy is love.

Given that hindsight is 20/20, coming to my full understanding that I am an Indigo explained alot of those years. I just couldn't stand having to conform to what I saw early on as a broken system. This transferred into my adult years in the form of not standing for conformity, and always fighting for the good causes in life. Now, given that I didn't understand what it meant to operate in love, my emotions would get in the road, and more often than not, make things worse rather than better. It's the same with my spirituality.

Learning about ego through A New Earth, I am learning to love myself to the point of removal of egoic behaviors. It's not easy after 41 years of egoic behavior, but I am progressing. A Course In Miracles tells us that through love true miracles occur. If we love ourselves and others that is the true course. I have seen what my acts of love do. I have seen what my acts of ego do. When I operate in love, it is truly beautiful, and it generates a light within me like I've never known. I don't do anything in love for anything in return, I do it based on my lifelong path of being a helper. When I do things in ego, and remember - ego means self not stuck up, things don't usually turn out so well. For me, my ego is one of extreme emotion that inevitably blows things up or causes hurt or pain. I must add that while I might have been intentionally mean in my younger days, I never do anything to intentionally hurt as of true adulthood. I just wind up getting in the road of the true intention, one of love. So, with that said, every day holds a new aspect of learning about self/ego, love, and light. As mentioned before, I am in training. The training of my new self.

This also means walking in true form. Who I really am. THAT is one of the most loving acts a person can give themselves. I work on ridding myself of beat-up behaviors and negative talk, and turn situations that cause these things to occur around so that when a glitch in the egoic system comes up, I forgive myself immediately, make the necessary loving gestures (an apology, a correction, etc.) which in return releases any guilt associated. This also means releasing the triggers associated with the situation and turning the entire situation into the learning lesson it is in order to grow as a Lightworker. How loving is that. If one loves, one loves. There is no room for any of my egoic behaviors if I just love. It is the only reality. Thus, as this year draws to an end, I relase old energy and imbalances.

In my quest to love, I hope this blog inspires you to truly love yourself.

Namaste

Sunday, December 26, 2010

As We Come To The End.....

Well, it's almost here, the end of 2010. I am not going to go into too many details, but I truly am grateful for a really hellish year, but I am also glad to start 2011. It's a 4 year (add the numbers together). 4 symbolizes stability (just think of a chair with four legs). I know I have predicted war, but within our homes, people will be turning to each other for the purest form of love we have. Each other. If it weren't for my family (and my friends that are like family), I would be nobody. I could not have been forged into the person I am today.

If one believes we reincarnate (which I do), it is believed we plan charts prior to coming down into this existence in order to experience certain things. I have discovered that my main path (no matter which incarnation I take) is one of love and help. Those are my two main themes. I also chose a congenital disease called Lymphedema (I look like I have puffy pregnancy feet all the time). I have had it since I was twelve and all the markers were there from birth, they just didn't get discovered until then. Anyways, it seems as of late, I am at the age where illness, death, and dying are all around me. As an empath, I am told, and can verify, that I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. I want to fix everything for everyone. I want my family healthy, I want my children happy, I don't like seeing people cry, etc. etc. etc. But, the tool I've been missing is how to empathize and do what I do so well, without carrying it. I have been told to put on a psychic suit of armour as it were. Gird my loins, (wo)man up. And in the quest to do so, I started meditating weeks ago. It has been the best thing I could have ever done. I'll tell you why, but I have to give you back story on how I came to start meditating for the full scope of my situation as of late. SQUEAMISH ALERT: I start the next paragraph off with female details, but I am not bashful as none of us should be.

At the beginning of this year, I had to have what my Gynecologist deemed an emergency hysterectomy. Turns out I had what I suspected. Adenomyosis. Endometriosis is a common diagnosis in women where endometrial tissue grows outside of the uterus (painful). Well, Adenomyosis is the same thing, only it happens IN the uterine muscle. This would happen cyclically. The end result was me being hospitalized once a month for two months leading up to my surgery, morphine and gravol drip et al. Recently, I have been diagnosed with Myofascial Pain Syndrome (aka MPS). It's one of those catchalls when they can't figure out what the heck is going on for you. It came on after my choking accident in July (and yes, I did almost die). My symptoms range from legs that feel like they are a Tens Machine at rest (you know those little electrical devices Physiotherapists use). I have leg twitches (poor husband tells me about it and as of late they've stopped thanks to meds) that are about to be confirmed with Restless Leg Syndrome. MPS has many different symptoms. For me, I can tell you the pressure has changed and a storm is coming in. I get a shroud of pain that starts at my shoulders and covers my head like someone is squeezing it. Along with this, I get what are called satellite pains. They happen anywhere. For me, the most common these days are my hips and my hands. I also get to have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I have not been without symptoms since July of this year. Are we getting the picture of my year yet? Not quite? Well, how's this for a kick you in the teeth moment. Friends of the family just spent their Christmas with two of their children at home with family while they tend to their middle child's stomach tumor and more. The child is all of 10. So, what do all these rotten things have in common? How I've had one hell of an amazing year.

You see, I've had to keep plugging away, but I've also had to find the balance to take care of me. Honor the not so good days, and thoroughly enjoy the good days. But guess what? Even my not so days are good days too. I've been doing alot of reading as of late, and am learning alot about the path I chose prior to here, and what gifts I have been able to bring into this incarnation. I can commune with loved ones passed. I can also see things in the future, and I am starting to show signs of a true energy or Light worker. When I am quiet, I hear what is necessary. During meditation, I scan myself, and commune with my guides, my angels, my loved ones. Accepting this wholeheartedly has been a very scary step, but worth every step of the way.

I've still been able to work with my hands, and as I keep doing what I do, amazing things have come to the forefront. Just how capable I am as an intuitive. One of the most important messages that has come through for me, is that I can no longer be bound by my past and the ways of it. I have arrived in new form, and in good humor. Every little blip on the radar gets its human reaction from me, but the reactions are less reactive. Instead of crying for three days over the dear little boy, I cried myself to sleep, and when I woke up in the morning, I came to a new realization. While, still a little upset here and there, and a little teary (who wouldn't be if a child was at an Exit Point), this is how life is. We are born, we live, and we die. I don't mean that to be callous, its just I feel we need to start looking at it a different way (or not, it's up to you). We come down for a pre-mapped human experience, and we return home. Home is a perfect place where existence is whole. No ailments, no challenges, just lots of knowledge and love. We are left behind, yearning for home when our loved ones leave us. It is a grievous time. But we must remember, our loved ones NEVER leave us. They are our angels in the outfield. They can always hear you, and they'll almost always come when called. There are some that take awhile to come through, but it's all for very good reason (I'll explain in another blog at another time). Just know they will come to you eventually. No prayer goes unheard as messengers will relay to those needing rest before visiting in spirit form.

Still waiting for the positive in all of this? See, as an Intuitive, I wasn't raised or trained as an intuitive. I was just a girl, walking through the world like all the other children out there. My intuitiveness would show up every so often (particularly at puberty and true coming of age - 21). Then I put it on ignore for my learning lessons except for a few key times until about 1997. From then on, spreading my intuitive wings began to happen more and more. Of course, I decided to try on a few sidebars along the way until present. Settled with a loving husband and (step)children and settled into MPS. MPS has left me no choice but to be still some days, no matter how much I want to go. On those days, I grab a good book, put on my flannel pajamas, and do small things throughout the day, but mostly rest. Winter has really hurt. However, every morning I have started meditating, turning to alternative means to help along the way of this painful and interesting journey.

I consider myself to finally be in training, as truly learning to hear all that needs to be said requires stillness. It also requires me to put on my psychic suit of armor and protect myself from other energy I run into during my days. At the end of my days, I wash it all away in a warm shower. This also greatly helps my MPS. Anyways, during my still time I learn about myself and allow myself to be open to all work necessary. What's come to light is detaching ego from true self. Thank Goodness for Eckhart Tolle's: A New Earth. Through these experiences going on at the moment, I am finding myself less and less triggered in all the ways that cause me more physical dis-ease, and have really started what I'd call a healthy detachment. My heart aches for dear one, but once I stand aside as it were, and examine the situation for what it is, some of the pain is taken away. You can be sad and not carry it. It is possible. I've discovered as an intuitive, instead of being a conduit, I have been a sponge. I am learning the difference and am in training for that. I have stopped a dog from having seizures. He went four months without having one and it has now been two months since a tune up at that time. I give him tune ups every so often just to be safe.

Through all of this adversity, I have learned to count my blessings, and see things as they truly are. I am not ill, I am being given the opportunity to listen and follow my true calling. I will still do what I do, but now there will be more. I can help loved ones reach passed loved ones. I can adjust chakras, I can help pets. I would have learned no skills had I not been forced to be quiet more often than not. This year has truly been a blessing. I have learned so much, and I am so grateful I could cry (and do sometimes). My dog is no longer sick and comes to visit me every so often from the other side, I am starting to medical scan (interesting without a Ph. D. attached, thank goodness for massage so I can say I do have some understanding), and am starting to help others out with their intuitiveness. Ever since I was a little girl, I can remember wishing for a magic shop. One where potions and lotions, and readings and circles would all occur. While I may not have that shop, I have my gifts, and I am ready to start sharing with the world. If I hadn't been told to slow down and truly listen, I wouldn't be where I am today. Telling you this story of how grateful I am for a truly horrible year. The experiences have made me so much stronger than I have EVER been.

Namaste

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

A Christmas Wish

Well, it's that time of year. Where the reason for the season has long passed us by. Christmas. Once a pagan holiday in honor of the sun, a Pope moved Christ's birthday to cover up the old ways. And apparently Kris Kringle Existed. He was a toymaker who dropped of toys for the children in his village. The list goes on of celebrations of the season. I say, what if it didn't exist? At least, not in the way it does now. What if it was a spirit celebrated 365 days a year.

Here's my Christmas wish for each and every person in existence. That we see and end to holidays. And, if we must carry on that spirit, then carry on the SPIRIT. I have one year and 17 days to change my Christmas to one driven by love and not of greed. I stopped having a Christmas wish list some Christmases ago, and haven't cared whether I get presents or not for some time. It is my wish that everyone consider this next year. (I do want to give you some time to warm up to the idea)

Don't BUY a THING!!!!!!!!!!!! Gather your nearest and dearest, divide up the cooking chores for the day and sit down and invest TIME with your families. Get everyone in your family to make a gift, and be grateful for the time that you have together! We have forgotten about time invested and all the beautiful blessings that come out of time well spent together.

I have very fond memories of gathering at my alternating family homes for Christmas Eve and we'd play board games, and eat appies, sing carols, and even bake cookies. Why not carry that spirit right through the next day. Maybe if you feel the need to buy something, buy a board game. Time is such a beautiful thing, and it's on our side every day that we wake up.

I have made gifts this year for people, and it feels good. Of course, I've had to balance it with having children and all, but I do hope for more time spent engaged in conversation and laughter. We could all use a good dose of laughter on a daily basis.

Be well this Christmas everyone. If we are driven by selflessness, the world is happier all year round. May your loved ones be safe. And for those who have lost loved ones this year, remember, they are ALWAYS with you. From the tinkle of the bell to a light breeze, they are always there.

Blessings to you all.

Donna

Thursday, December 2, 2010

So, here we are....

Have you ever had self-talk involving what journey you are on these days? Have you ever stopped to think that may be if you're on a journey, that this entire planet's on a journey? What if the very foundation of mankind is about to be rumbled???

As I sit back and take in some of the global rumblings, I can't but wonder if the brick I mentioned in an earlier blog is about to be delivered. I firmly believe it is. North Korea is acting out, and the States are in need of another war.

If one were to look at these questions again, it would seem like most to doom and gloom, but for others of us out there, we'd see it as an opportunity. An opportunity for mankind.

Over the past few weeks I've been reading up on Indigo Adults, which leads to Starseeds, etc., etc., etc. There is a shift occuring worldwide where people are operating with love and open hearts. They are being guided by spirit. Children are openly discussing psychic abilities and so on.

What if the future of mankind rests in the truest democracy ever, and the changes to come after the brick are facilitated by people like me. Ones not motivated by greed, but motivated by the desire to lead the best possible life ever by operating with love and light.

The States is about to go into war with North Korea. It's not going to be good. But it will be good. Why, you ask? Because as mentioned before, 9/11 was the stone, that 9 years later, has only created more fear and hatred in society. North Korea will be the brick. Mankind cannot continue on a path of war and greed. It's not working. If it takes thousands upon thousands to wake up mankind, I'm sorry that it has to be that way, but I'd be more than willing to be in amongst them if it meant mankind would smarten up.

People, take a look around you. Life is better than all this "stuff". This bigger, better, faster. We are amazing beings on a beautiful planet. We have to start loving it better. I'm trying to do my part, and as I gain better and better habits, it is out with the old and in with the new for me.

I ask this of you. Do one nice thing for a complete stranger. Put a quarter in the meter for a vehicle that isn't yours. Smile. These things make you feel better. I would hope. I know that despite all that my journey entails at this moment, that I am emotionally better than I have ever been. I am proud of my arrival into adulthood. I am proud of my arrival into Indigo Adulthood.

Namaste



***Note: While not a fan of labels, I had to find something that helped me understand myself. Like all labels. They are just that. A label. No person is better than any other person, and a person is a person and not a label. Indigo is an identifier for me.