On my quest to view this world with the Oneness we come from (regardless of what your belief system is - science or religion-based we all come from the same origin), my library of spiritual armour is expanding. Here are the books I have on the go right now in order to love myself and add the necessary tools to my personal library:
Angels and Goddesses by Doreen Virtue (Ph.D.)
Temples on The Other Side by Sylvia Browne
Psychic Healing by Sylvia Browne
A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
A Course In Miracles by Bill Thetford and Helen Shucman - Urtext Version
At this particular moment, Angels and Goddesses by Doreen Virtue (Ph.D.) has my strongest pull (I read the others each day too, just not as much). I have to say, that after reading Ms. Virtue's account of one particular New Year's section, I am now motivated to follow in her footsteps. She and her husband had decided to do a ceremony to release themselves of anything. Ms. Virtue asked that "all of the old energy and imbalances be released fully". For me, that really seem to hit home. Only because it is such a loving act.
So as this year comes to an end, I ask that all of my old energy and imbalances be released fully.
What would that look like for someone like me? Well, as a child growing up in the school system, and an intuitive one at that, I know I personally was never one to color within the lines and had an extreme dislike for the rigidity of school. Was I and am I smart? Oh yes. As an adult, I had my IQ tested and it's 147. I just never applied myself because these weren't the real life situations other than to grow up and get a job. Having to conform to the best of my ability created great ego baggage of not being "good". We do this so well with our children today also in a system that is extremely broken. This has carried well into adulthood with all sorts of negative messages that run through my head whenever I throw a learning curve in. That's why I have now referred to this negative word of "mistake" into learning curve. Don't get me wrong, we must behave lovingly, but I am not going to be defined by "bad" or "good" any more. I release this energy. We are imperfect as human beings, that is the nature of life on this side, but we can work towards a loving planet. The only true energy is love.
Given that hindsight is 20/20, coming to my full understanding that I am an Indigo explained alot of those years. I just couldn't stand having to conform to what I saw early on as a broken system. This transferred into my adult years in the form of not standing for conformity, and always fighting for the good causes in life. Now, given that I didn't understand what it meant to operate in love, my emotions would get in the road, and more often than not, make things worse rather than better. It's the same with my spirituality.
Learning about ego through A New Earth, I am learning to love myself to the point of removal of egoic behaviors. It's not easy after 41 years of egoic behavior, but I am progressing. A Course In Miracles tells us that through love true miracles occur. If we love ourselves and others that is the true course. I have seen what my acts of love do. I have seen what my acts of ego do. When I operate in love, it is truly beautiful, and it generates a light within me like I've never known. I don't do anything in love for anything in return, I do it based on my lifelong path of being a helper. When I do things in ego, and remember - ego means self not stuck up, things don't usually turn out so well. For me, my ego is one of extreme emotion that inevitably blows things up or causes hurt or pain. I must add that while I might have been intentionally mean in my younger days, I never do anything to intentionally hurt as of true adulthood. I just wind up getting in the road of the true intention, one of love. So, with that said, every day holds a new aspect of learning about self/ego, love, and light. As mentioned before, I am in training. The training of my new self.
This also means walking in true form. Who I really am. THAT is one of the most loving acts a person can give themselves. I work on ridding myself of beat-up behaviors and negative talk, and turn situations that cause these things to occur around so that when a glitch in the egoic system comes up, I forgive myself immediately, make the necessary loving gestures (an apology, a correction, etc.) which in return releases any guilt associated. This also means releasing the triggers associated with the situation and turning the entire situation into the learning lesson it is in order to grow as a Lightworker. How loving is that. If one loves, one loves. There is no room for any of my egoic behaviors if I just love. It is the only reality. Thus, as this year draws to an end, I relase old energy and imbalances.
In my quest to love, I hope this blog inspires you to truly love yourself.
Namaste
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