Some Interesting Questions

I am so glad that people are asking questions about life on the Other Side.

Today I have been posed two and I would like to answer based on my experiences.

1) What happens to someone that takes their own life?

Absolutely nothing other than returning Home.

We are to be reminded that in the world of Soul Contracts we have a beginning, our Entrance Point or human birth (consider the human form a leased vehicle and when it expires we have our birth into Spirit),  and a death, Final Exit Point, which is rebirth into Spirit.  We also may have a few close calls along the way.  I did, and I made the choice to live because the choice truly was mine.  I saved myself from choking on a Skittle (ha ha, didn't really want death by Skittle on my gravestone).

Mindful that Hell, as mankind has twisted it into, does not exist except for right here on Earth. (I am so glad that we are right in the middle of "out with the old and in with new").

We only have Spirit to return to.  The Other Side, Heaven, however one chooses to see it.

When someone commits suicide they do not have the tools to move through their current experience and take their own lives.  While it is not ours to take (life is a gift from God), it is something that happens and it should be seen for what it truly is.

Someone does not have the tools Here to cope and chooses to return home.  Again, not the way we wanna do it, but it is seen as an Exit Point written in their contract.  Remember, we can choose to live, or choose to leave.  It is preferred that we are asked to work through the experience, but isn't always able to happen.

Mankind has created a space of judgment.  When I hear of suicide I can't imagine the painful experience one has no ability to cope with.  I feel sad, but am okay because I realize that point.

Nobody has the right to Judge except God (Creator, Allah, Yaweh, etc).  And truly Source is Love.

When this happens, we are greeted by loved ones, and cocooned.  Think of a birth.  A baby is welcomed into the world with a Care Team (Doctor's, Nurses, etc.).  They are wrapped up and lovingly placed into the arms of their parent.

It works the other way too.  We are greeted by our Care Team (Guardian Angels in the form of loved ones, our Spirit Guides), swaddled up and then welcomed graciously into the arms of our parent(s) in Spirit.

It is at that point that we are given a Life Review and come to a better undestanding of our human experience.

At this point I would also like to state that each time we come back Here we are made to drink of the River of Forgetting.  It is a new experience with its own set of lessons and mission(s).  We do get snippets in the form of Deja-Vu, and it has been my experience that people that are attracted to a certain period of time have had an human experience.  For me, one of my times rests in Medieval times.  I have always loved that period.  One of my Guides presents herself that way to me and always has.

So, once again, suicides do not go to Hell.  It does not exist except for the minds of mankind who have twisted to FEAR others into good behaviors.  And we might describe an experience as Hell or what's going on on this planet Hell.    

They are welcomed Home by loving arms.

Side bar - But we can change that to create Heaven right Here on Earth and we are in this very moment in time.  We have to become extremely unhappy, for it triggers the need for a better way of handling things, in order to become the change we wish to see in the world. 

And it truly does start with the Self.


2)  If People don't get along during their human experience, do they become friends once in Spirit form?

Everything on the Other Side is in perfect order.  No physical ailments, no emotional strain, pure Spirit.

This means that if two people didn't get along Here they get along THERE.  Heck, it's even been shown to me that people who didn't get along Here had been waiting to greet the other back Home.

There truly is the Perfect State.

And, when the shift finally finishes Here it will come to a state like There.

See the Lions to Lambs.

Keep the questions coming!  I truly enjoy this part!

Breakdowns for Breakthroughs

At 4a.m. yesterday, I found myself awake in the worst physical state I have EVER been in.

I truly thought that I was suffering an aneurysm.  My head felt like it had a bullet in it and the experience truly was Hell.

With that said, once again, a miracle occurred.

For the first time in my experience of physicality, I nursed myself through it.  And, while I am still being "nagged at".   I have moved this experience into a state of grace.

In a quest of now turning my "why's" into "what's", I found that state.

While "Donna" was losing it, Spirit was nursing it.  I truly did lose my "mind" and it has now been truly found.

I came down to the couch and broke down.  I began to ask "what".  "What" is it that I am supposed to be learning through this experience.  I screamed it.  Ego was having the biggest hissy fit in her life.  However, it was at thst moment that Spirit broke through.

I could actually see myself having the experience.  The Spirit within that is connected to all said this to Donna:

"Dear God, please have mercy on this human's experience, it is now too much for her to bear". 

I kept repeating "I am a Spiritual being having a human experience".  And suddenly Spirit whispered.  "Work THROUGH this, not around it." and, of course, Spirit bore the truth of the matter.  For I have always wanted it chased away and never EVER worked through it.  Ever.

And yesterday, for the first time I moved through it.  My dear husband (who I woke up with my cries to Creator) came down and asked me what was going on.  My reply was "make it stop, I can't handle this anymore".  So Spirit moved and here's what happened.

I asked my husband for my sleep medication in order to go back to sleep, because it is truly what has been lacking in this experience, but has played an important role.  Then I asked my husband to put on the "Bishop's Wife" so I could soothe my soul while awaiting for things to dissipate.  Asking for help was all I needed to do.  Help to breathe through it, allowing it to happen and nurturing self through the entire space of a migraine, which is still sort of there at this point, but in a much more manageable space.

I haven't always been good at asking for what I require, and I believe I have finally allowed that state of grace to occur.  And, while it might have been through snivelly sobbing, I asked.  Not only from those There, but those Here.  And I am recovering from the "bullet in my head".

The breakdown for breakthrough.

Along this path that even led me to Changeways (Change Ways - how true), the lesson was driven further home.  I was unable to attend class and had spoken the day before to the Course Leader about my physical experience and my commitment to the material.  I have been working through it and was about to miss my first class in the series thanks to migraine.

Yesterday's material, which I covered from home had the biggest piece of my human puzzle EVER.

All my life, I have seen the "worst" in outcomes in my head.  Yesterday's lesson was about seeing the experience, whatever it is, straight through to the end.  THE END.

I have been in my head (Ego) seeing the worst possible outcome.  The end.  The end of my human existence because it has appeared that bad.  I have been living a lie and it is time to release that belief.  It serves no purpose whatsoever.

So there I was, through the worst part and the biggest hissy fit, breathing and allowing the experience.  It was after that point that I felt strong enough to pick up the material and there it was.

Worry to the End.  And it couldn't be any truer for me than this space.

At that moment, I envisioned the same scenario I have travelled on, only this time I took it to the True End.  Me coming out the other side, vibrant, healthy, truly joyful, and able to do my work and fulfill my mission.  I had walked through the experience for the first time in my life, in a state of grace.

For, moving through it, I have uncovered the lie and walked into the truth.

I would not be able to do my job without any of the experiences that have occurred over a lifetime.  But now I had moved all of them into a state of grace (acceptance).  For in them have been valuable things.

How would I be able to look in a "victim's" eyes and say "I am sorry for that experience, I share it too."

How would I be able to handle teenagedom (new word) without being such a shithead teenager myself.

How would I be able to look into a "user's" eyes and say, "It is such a tricky road to release".  If I hadn't experienced it also.

How would I be able to look into a mother's eyes whose lost her child whether through miscarriage or passing and say "It is such a great loss and is such hardship to bear" without experiencing it myself.

How would I be able to look into someone's eyes and say "I understand your pain" without experiencing it first.

I wouldn't be able to help guide someone through their experience without any of the experiences myself.  I truly understand it.  For experience is the greatest teacher of all down Here.

I am blessed to be able to take it that one step further in my ability.

For, through experience, and the gift I have received from  Source in the form of truly "seeing", I am able to help those who are in need.

I am able to reach out to anyone and everyone, everywhere in the truest way to reach out of all.

Love.  Pure and Unconditional Love.  For I am seeing with my "Greater" eyes now. 

The Spiritual Being having a human experience who has been"chosen" to love this planet in order to help create Heaven on Earth.

May you find your "peace" of Heaven.

I have.

And even if Ego kicks up, for we do need it, I see it now for what it truly is. 

A lion to be tamed.

As Russell Crowe stated in one of his movies "Rise and Rise again until Lions Become Lambs"

And, as the Bible states in Isaiah 11:6

"The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat, and the calf and the lion and the fattened calf together; and a little child shall lead them."

Wolf = Ego
Lamb = True or Authentic Self

 

"The Bishop's Wife"

There are moments in life that take our breath away.  And for me, today is no exception.

You see, miracles occur, and it goes above physical healing and straight to Spiritual Healing, healing of the soul..

Over the past 28 months I have watched my body deteriorate and it scares the hell out of me.  And, today I was provided the space to just "be heard".  No fixing.  Just acceptance for where I was at in that moment. 

For that space, I am eternally grateful.  Because I was afforded that space something miraculous has occurred.  Along my path, I have forgotten and today I was reminded.

The grapplings of the human experience involve ego, and I have been right in the middle of allowing the Saboteur to reside, and now that part of me has been exposed.  So, I am going to share the experience in hopes that anyone, everyone, will come to know the role Saboteur can play in all of our human experience. 

As I've said, I have watched my health decline, severely, over the last 28 months.  My first symptom showed up in July of 2010 in the form of a swollen sore finger.  This was followed by a deterioration of the joints in that finger.  And, over this span, not only has it happened to one, it has happened to all.  This has carried on further with atrocious pain at my heels, followed by the joints in my feet deteriorating.  The deterioration is in almost every joint in my body.  My hair has only grown one inch since December of 2011.  And presently, any hair that has fallen out has not been replaced, and my hair is thinning.  My muscles twitch (pick one any one), I suffer pins and needles and pain at the joints that are deteriorating.

My recent visit to a vascular specialist has concluded that I do not have MS.  I have Chronic Migraine Syndrome, and it was explained that the nerves in my body have created an unclear message.  The Specialist likened nerves to a radio.  When you find the station, the signal is clear.  Put a dial between two stations and there is static.  My body is in "static" mode.

We have ruled a great many things out, and yet I still have asked "why"it's happening.  "Why" is a grapple with ego.  I have always asked why, when instead, maybe I should be accepting of the well known resonance of life.  Things happen for a reason, and while we might not know "why", we must rest knowing we are in good hands.  There are lessons to be had in all experiences, and that the lesson will always be revealed. 

Some people in  my past would say I deserve it.  I have come to accept it as part of my journey.  Nobody deserves illness, it is written in our course.  Sometimes we are able to be healed, and sometimes it is written that we are not. 

Lightworkers are known to take on the problems of the world, because that is what we have been born to do.  But, in no way shape are form, are we meant to bring it into our bodies.  We are to create Sacred Space in order to facilitate what a soul in our presence might need. 

We are guided by Spirit at all times.  And that goes for the rest that aren't Lightworkers.  And here's where "The Bishop's Wife" comes in.  Cue Cary Grant as the Angel sent to Earth to help others come to know True Joy.  At the heart of True Joy is love.  Cary Grant's characted Dudley stated, "There are Angels among us."   And it couldn't be any closer to the truth than that for me, and, it is even stated in the Bible that angels have been sent down as messengers.

And I couldn't know that truth any more than I do at this minute.  Tears are streaming down my face as I write this, because of True Joy and an extremely strong reminder from Spirit.

You see, along this journey I have once again forgotten who I am.  And, ever so quietly, like they do for us all.  Angels whisper softly, giving us the ideas that we claim for our own.  THAT is also ego.  Again, a message stated clear by "Dudley" that angels whisper in our ears to "help" us with the idea.  Divine Inspiration.

I have been in pain, cold, numb, tingly, twitchy, and today, I have been reminded.  And I feel that as a friend told me, it resonates on a molecular level. 

I am Spirit.  And in that, I am safe, and always taken care of.  So, right here, right now, I tell you.  I understand that I have been chosen as a vessel.  A vessel for Spirit.  And, in that, lies the "Hartt" of who I am.  

I am a Messenger.   A Messenger for Spirit.

I am going through a lesson right now.  I know that I now can truly say that I know what it means to experience physical pain.  I know what it means to experience mental pain, for I have cried so many tears of pain and fear during this experience.  And, coming to a place of understanding about caring for our mental health.  It has such a stigma around it, and I have eroded those walls.  Physical, emotional, and Spiritual health is all part of our makeup.  To say one has never had a mental health experience would be untrue.  We have all met with challenges that have caused tears, frustration and breakdowns.  Breakdowns for breakthroughs. 

My physical experience has facilitated a need for the Changeways Program through Mental Health.  It is about Cognitive Behavior, and that our Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions all work together.  And, that by changing our actions, we are able to change our thoughts and feelings along with it.

I  needed another tool for my toolbox as  I haven't been coping well.  Who would.  And, knowing that Spirit works in mysterious ways, I am in that group for a reason that goes beyond that group and the benefits of that tool.  Spirit works through me, and I know that I have been provided a learning experience.  I am grateful. 

You see, the action I take is connecting with Spirit.  In that moment I don't hurt, and I am able to forget and be reminded of Spirit.  Spirit working through me and for me.  It is so I graciously move into that space of Unconditional Love so that I may better my mission.  For me, that is the truest joy.

Spirit cares so much for me , and all of us, that they will give us what we need at just the appropriate time.  Today was a day of self care.  That involved watching a movie.  Spirit once again facilitated a True Joy moment for me.  I wasn't given this movie to watch "just because".  My "new" grandparents are God loving grandparents where He truly resides in their hearts.  They offered the movie as a source of comfort.  And it was my kindly reminder.

Creator has now allowed me a "Port" in the storm.  A place of safety.  My gracious husband who has, regardless of my "coming out of the Medium closet", allowed me the space to be who I truly am.  And who still loves me despite everything that is happening.

It truly was a miracle day. I have found peace on a level so deep that I know I am safe and that I truly am cared for.  We all are.

And, while ego might pop its head up, Creator and the Heavenly Band of Angels will always be there to help me expose and burn it off, so that I may help to create Heaven on Earth through my actions.

They are There for all of us.

I am truly grateful for this day and, once again, for allowing Spirit to flow through me and onto this page in hopes of helping others realize they are not alone in the human experience. 

We are all sharing it, and by our actions, we can "shift" together.

Soul Contracts, Our Time Here, and Our Time There

Today I had a fantastic e-mail come my way, and, once again, Spirit has lifted my soul by providing another opportunity on my path that is lived in True Spirit.

Once again, this is my take on things from someone deeply connected to life on the Other Side through and the blessing to read for hundreds.  Take with you only that which resonates.  This is my experience and sometimes by sharing this amazing ride, I can help others come to understand some more about Here and There.

What I do know:

1)  The Shift

We are experiencing a shift in consciousness.  It is so that the old ways may pass and the new ways may enter.  An age where we will ALL find ourselves deeper connected to the only thing that matters in this lifetime.  Spirit.

During these times, I want all of you to remember this.  These things that go on in this time to come are in order for our betterment.  Mankind has been on a trail of "mine" for a very long time.  The "biggers", the "fasters", the MORE.  It is going to be an even bumpier ride than the present, but as we all know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is not going to be a train this time.  It is going to be Spirit pushing it's way through to reach us all.

We are asked to look at things from a different perspective.  For, in "the shift" comes a path like you could NEVER have dreamed.  We are asked to be happy first and for most.

THE TRUEST HAPPINESS.  Within.

If we are to believe that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, there is one place we can all turn in times of difficulty.  Our soul.  The part that never EVER dies.  It is continuous.  And, if we are Spirit then that is where we came from.  We are left with one connection, our connection to Source, however you choose to see it.  Allah, Yaweh, God, Consciousness, the list knows no bounds.

When we turn to Source, we start to live better lives.  Because through Source we can turn to our Spirit and ask it what it requires.  The first thing would, I hope, be happiness.

But how?  Ask.  Even go so far as to ask out loud.  Why?  Because it shows your intention to Source, and there is nothing more powerful than that.

What does your Spirit need to be happy.  What do you dream of doing?  What do you dream of becoming?  Follow that gut feeling regardless of what anyone tells you.  We all have a right to do what we dream to do and it shouldn't matter what anyone thinks.

How does that relate to the Shift?  I believe it builds a better person.  This in turn builds a better planet.  And then, the real magic of this planet can begin.

So once again I tell you.  Stay strong.  Everything truly is going to be okay.  The light at the end of this tunnel is the truest light of all. Source.  We, as a planet, are about to get better.  Amen!

2)  Difficulties in this lifetime.

I have said it before, but I will say it again.  I firmly believe we have Soul Contracts which are arranged over There, before we come Here.

This means we have agreed to a Mission and Learning Objectives.  The lessons and joys, and sorrows are all for our benefit while here.  But, there is a way to ease the suffering.  For, as it has been said before "pain is in the brain, but suffering is in the mind".

First, and this is a really hard concept that even I am still learning about, time does not exist.

Time is a manmade constraint used to mark the changes experienced on our planet.  Mankind created it to control it.  Spirit cannot be controlled, only the human having the spirit experience can "try".

If time does not exist, and if we have been around and around through recincarnation into different experiences, then we must take that into consideration when evaluating our current life.

The past, present, and future ties could be playing a role in our present (think of phobias, beliefs, illnesses) can be released so we no longer carry the burdens and released so we can live a better, Present, life.

Give yourself a releasing ceremony. 

I will use myself as an example in hopes that you can better understand what it is that you may need to release.  Remember, everyone has their own journey here for which they've signed up.

I have always struggled with money.  And, maybe these days, who hasn't.

Awhile back I decided to release the vows of poverty, and here's what it sounded like when I explained to Source what I was doing:

"I release any past, present, or future vows of poverty in all timelines, in all directions."

Notice how it covers what we have come to know as time without truly attaching to that word.  "Time".

I stated it out loud, to prove my intentions, and I repeated it often for probably about a week just so that the human part of me would really, truly listen.  And, if necessary, I will say it when needed, but I can honestly say I am truly on the proper path with this one in my life.

Money doesn't buy happiness.  But, happiness creates a state of abundance that compares to none.

From my young life I knew I had big plans, though I didn't know what it looked like.  Yet, throughout my life I had always been intrigued by all things Otherwordly, and now I know why.  My one True Calling, the only thing I am ever to be in this lifetime.  A Psychic and a Medium.

And that is regardless of what anyone thinks or has come to a belief about people with my abilities.  I welcome skepticism and jeers (yes it happens), it makes me stand even stronger in my faith.  And that, is personal power.

I am filled with love at having this mission, and it never ceases to humble me as I come to let many know that there is more beyond this physical existence.

I pray now that you all ask your Spirit what it truly wants to do or needs.  Say it out loud, and wait for the magic to happen.

3)  Returning Home

Depending on how we wind up leaving for Home, there are things that take place.

If you have faced lengthy illness, when you leave Here, you are cocooned.  If you have died suddenly sometimes it is a shock to know you've changed form.  And even moreso if there was no belief in life after physical death.

I've come to learn it takes a bit of time for a Soul with a heavy mission to re-align with Spirit because of its human experience.  We are wrapped in Source's love.  And, think of the human experience of birth.  A care team surrounds the new life waiting to arrive in physicality.  They are cleaned, wrapped, presented to parents.

Now, imagine that experience the other way.  We leave our leased vehicle Here and make a transition to Home, where our Care Team There awaits and takes care of anything necessary that Spirit requires.

Part of that care is a "life review" where you are shown your human experience, and maybe how it may have been handled in a different way or applauded for things learned quickly.

Over There is perfect.  Nothing is needed, nothing is required.  We operate strictly in Spirit and in callings.  Yes, we all get assignments over There too, but once again, it's taking care of the humans.

Our loved ones that passed before us in this lifetime are always sent to greet you.  And most stand vigil during the time of illness.  I knew that my dad was greeted by his father and brother, and I am so happy for that.  If you went before a spouse, they would be there to greet you, even if you had a spouse that followed the one that passed.  And the two of you will be there for that person when they leave to Home too.

I think you get the idea.

4)  Twin Flames

People talk of "soul mates" and "twin flames" and not alot of people are given the proper information.

Do we have soulmates?  You bet.  Some are for a length of time and some are for short times.  They all come into our lives for a lesson we need to learn about self.

Do we have Twin Flames?  Yes.

What are They?  Twin flames are eternal relationships..  It is believed that all of us have one Spirit we travel with indefinitely.  They come into our lives as someone we know we must have in our life, but it may not always be the way we imagined how.  Sometimes it is brother brother, mother father, sister sister, lovers, I think you get the idea.  You will know them when you meet them, for the bond will be unbreakable and withstand all things. 

Karen, I've always known you're mine.  My life would never be where it is without you.  And, if one us inevitably leaves before the other, I know we've got each others back.

5)  Heaven and Hell

I would consider the Other Side Heaven.  For there, everything is in perfect condition.  No ailments, no heartache, no hardship, just pure unadulterated JOY.

The hardship, heartache, joy, and triumphs belong to the human experience.

The word Hades in the Bible literally translates to the common grave, or burial.  Mankind has twisted it into Hell and created a place that generates fear amongst those of many religions.  It is used to torment and scare us as young children and to make us behave "better".  It is a CRUEL teaching.

Hell exists right here and right now too, but we can make this Heaven right here on Earth.

See Item 1.  Repeat as necessary.

All of my love to all of you, wherever, and whoever, you are.  I am a part of you and you are a part of me. 

I send love.





 

Multiverse

So today, finding myself a little frustrated (ego), I delved into the one thing that ALWAYS cheers me up.  My cards.  And today the Faeries had something to say.  You see, along with a fun distraction, I was provided some some insight that I thought I would share.  You see, it's not just about being a better Medium, it's about being a better person.  A person that looks at things from a Higher perspective.  One in harmony with Spirit.  And wanting to be the example of the change I wish to see in the Universe, I am changing the Universe's name to Multiverse.

Today I drew card 38 in Brian Froud's 'The Faeries' Oracle'.  Moon's Daughter.  And it speaks to Illumination and Riddles of the Self, and Spiritual Guidance.

In my quest to remove ego from my life I have asked for the chinks in my armor to be exposed so I am able to re-align my thinking in a more harmonious way  and today's information struck me.  Multiverse.

That word resonated with me because it really is true if we stop and think about it.  In our quest to rid ourselves of ego, we have a "You" in Universe.  This speaks to singular.  So how about this, we are part of a Multiverse as a Youniverse.  The Youniverse speaking to our own unique paths and stories, and the Multiverse in acknowledgment that every single one of us is connected.  We are a multiverse.  And, what we put out is what is reflected in our lives.  And, in running ego in our lives, we are Self-Centered and not aligning with Spirit.

I ask of you this.  I hear everyone complaining about this and that, and look at the state of our poor planet and it's surrounding space.  What if, maybe, just maybe, through all of our trials and tribulations, we learn to think about them differently in order to experience life in a more "joyful" way.  And this means everyone's life. 

Be a better person.  Ask for help from your Angels to bring to the surface any hidden or shadow parts so we may acknowledge them, and see how they help us or harm us.  It's okay to have shadow parts, we all do.  That's the human experience.  Imperfection and ego.  But, beyond that goes a better planet when we start building better people. 

All we are asked is to do what we love and enjoy this crazy ride.  And, help everyone out along the way.  Be kind.  Speak gently.  To yourself and others.  Love loving a Spirited Life.  Because from that perspective, we are unstoppable.

Have an absolutely roller coaster of an amazing day!

Letting Go............

Loss happens.  To everyone.  It can be horrific.  It can be graceful.  We will never know the end of our story until we are there.  But, for certain, the ones left behind mourn.  It is perfectly natural.  We are not "desensitized" to our close loved ones leaving.  It can be traumatic for some.  And loving for others.  This blog is not just about learning to let our loved ones go so they can come back.  It is also learning to let go when times of worry or concern come up.  Trusting we are in great hands.  The hands of the Universe.  However you choose to see it.

In the process of working through my own grief after my father returning Home.  I recently discovered that, on my path to wellness, I hadn't truly let him go.  I didn't even know I hadn't until someone hit a nerve.  And it was a blessed thing.

Some while back, I had the honor of finding myself in the middle of a ceremony.  A ceremony to release a soul.  So, here I was surrounded by drumbeats, asking my father to forgive me.  It had just been not long after his angelversary and I didn't feel like I could feel him around anymore.  And, in the middle of my "flare-ups"  I look at his picture and ask him to help.  Hell, I practically beg him. 

Anyways, when I was asked to be forgiven for keeping him Here.  That little niggly spot popped up.  I knew something hidden (that's what a blindspot is and sometimes we need someone else to help us get to it) had been reached.

I truly was keeping my father here through all of my begging and pleading.  For answers to my health problem.  So, I cut him away.  I want you to understand that it wasn't like he was in limbo.  It was he had been taken Home, and he let us know a week later he was good.  It had everything to do with me holding him back by calling on him ALL the time.  I was preventing him from moving completely into his role over There.  I was stifling it.  Which meant I was stifling my ability.  My Knee Jerk ego was interfering.  It was not true love I was operating under.

So, over the weekend that followed, I found myself walking upstairs to glance down at a dolphin that was from an adventure my parents had had.  It was a glaring reminder, and forever will be, of the time I assumed something and was given a Universal spanking.

It hit me.  I had my father's knee-jerk reaction as part of my personality.  And I really had to let that go in order to be helped in so many different ways.  The biggest of all is learning to look at someone with love.  At ALL times.  The world of Uncondintional.  I could not be the person I am if I was still hanging on to that.  Letting go.  Letting THAT and my dad go.  In other words, stop crying for help.  YOU have the answers.  Just let it go.

And you will never believe how my world has opened up since that moment.  It is truly unbelievable and I cannot wait to share!  I am truly humbled, and eternally grateful, to those who have facilitated some Spiritual Healing for a shining star.  Thank you for helping me shine.  Even brighter.  Than I EVER knew was possible.

Watch out world!

Disclaimer:  Warning, swears in spots and some details that might be TMI, but it is how the story needs to be told.  Cover your eyes if you don't wanna see.  LOL.  And, if it weren't for the fact that I have told my friends to let me know when they think I am losing my mind, I am going to tell a story that makes me doubt my own sanity.

The Ride of my Life

As many of you know, I have been fighting illness most of my life beginning with the discovery at 12 that I was born with one kidney and developed swelling below the knees in the form of a genetic disease known as Lymphedema.  In the world of healers, some would have you believe this can all be fixed, but I've just let it all grow on me because I have learned some valuable lessons while being as ill as I find myself these days.

I have behaved poorly in my past, and have come to learn many things about myself right up until this very moment.  My past is what made me the woman I am today, and my Spirit is FABULOUS for it!

Over the past couple of years I have found myself saying, "I have never felt the same since my hysterectomy in January 2010".  And, since that time, my health has been on a steady decline.  The latest amounting to my hip going out about a week and a half ago.  As a matter of fact, I am waiting to see if I happened to have chipped the bone because I was complaining of pain.  I will be very surprised if there's a chip, only because I really think it's just the pain I have been experiencing these days.  It involves watching my feet, legs, arms, neck, and hands become laxer and laxer and requiring leg splints, which I am waiting to be fitted for.  Yesterday I put my right big toe back in, in two spots!!!!!!            Tell ya, that's my kinda fun!!!!

So, this past weekend found me growling (yes growling, 4 days of chronic pain will do that- pick a spot any spot, I believe my nose doesnt' hurt) over to the computer.  I Googled "what diseases causes pain and deterioration in ligaments in tendons" and was led to a blog.    It made me shutter.


http://stevezellers.wordpress.com/2009/05/25/deteriorating-tendons-causing-excrutiating-pain-throughout-the-entire-body-help-needed-research-funding-knowledge-awareness-support-groups/

I was looking at my life at what my future held because in the beginning of this blogged story, was where I am at.  Feeling like "if somebody doesn't figure this out, I am going to be in a wheelchair".
I was staring at my story.  Later on down the thread, I saw someone comment about if anyone had considered Cipro Toxicity and I froze.  More like the light bulb went off. 

Over the past many god knows how many years, I have been on and off Cipro because being born with one kidney has left me with a kidney that is one and a half times the size of a normal kidney and functions like two.  However, this has left me with a larger ureter (the tube from kidney to bladder), which leaves me more prone to bladder infections that go straight to my kidney.

Enter 2012 and a move to Cranbrook.  I was off on sick leave because I couldn't use my hands due to so much pain and distortion and my husband got laid off.  A job came up here and it couldn't have worked out better.

This is where the story starts to get amazing!  I got a new doctor!  A new set of eyes!  A new specialist!  A new set of eyes!

Well, last week I was in the doc's office following up with the aching hip and painful sacroiliac.  He ordered an x-ray to see if I may have chipped a bone putting it back in from subluxation (a partial dislocation sort of "half out").  I believe that the reason I am having the pain is because of everything under "attack" at the joint.  And not a chip.  I have begun to notice when I have a flare up that it's like the muscles start to tense up getting prepared to fight back against whatever is attacking almost ALL of my joints.  

Anyways, the doctor looked at me and read parts of the Specialist's most recent letter.  And I saw the letter and the parts he wasn't reading out were the notes on "depressed", "anxious", and "in need of psychiatry".  I really have a Doctor who is out of this world!   Because who wouldn't have flare-ups during the human experience and who wouldn't be depressed or anxious if their body really was falling apart and it is visibly noticeable!  Problem is, any of the tests shy of genetics testing (still a possibility) have come back negative.  So basically, we have been ruling things out and still left with nothing.  Yet, we have ruled things out which is fantastic!

Enter once again, the blog I mentioned above.  So, as I sit at this very moment the Doc has my 40 pages of information on Cipro Toxicity Syndrome.  I have had my hip x-ray and am waiting to see if it's chipped.  I follow up with my doctor next week and they are glancing the information over as a possibility as I write.  I have ordered my medication history from pharma net (you know you can go to a pharmacy and they can submit a request to be mailed direct to you - you learn alot of things being your own advocate these days).  The rest is in my Care Team's Hands. 

But, there is now medically based information available from a Toxicologist.

http://journals.lww.com/em-news/Fulltext/2008/10000/Adverse_Reactions_to_Fluoroquinolones.23.aspx


But here is where the story gets even more amazing!  You have no choice but to learn to take care of you the way you intuitively know how to.  And, believe it or not we all could stand to improve in that department.  So I am going to share what I've learned:

As you know, I work with energy (and yes please head up to the disclaimer once again - I am not having delusions, my friends know me to be sane).  I connect with people's energy and I connect with Loved Ones on the Other Side.  I predict earthquakes, and I can see what I call "coming down the pipe".  I always let people know that this is strictly what I am shown (thanks to my Care Team), and that their God Given Free Will can change it at any point and time.  It is strictly what I am shown.  What you choose to do with it is your own.

But, in order for me to do the work and not get drained I have to keep my auric field strong.  A good example is to consider this.  Have you ever been with someone who is an absolute drain on your energy?  Two things are happening.  One is you haven't put yourself in your own little "bubble" and, the other is the other person's "negative" energy entering your space, so imagine them in a bubble too.  That way you can hear what they are saying, but aren't impacted by it.  I began with imagining a set of angel wings around me, and then I imagined the other person surrounded in white.

So, as you would guess I am better at it some days and sometimes I get a reminder.  I can feel it when I've "let my guard down" and now go back to visualizations took keep myself tuned up.  And I get energy work done on me.  There are amazing Reiki masters out there.  Thanks to so many Healers working with me these days.

In the world of taking care of myself, I ask for help when I need it.  And, I am getting better at it!

I am having no choice to eat very strictly (a few concessions here or there but I have to prepare for a "flare up" because starch actually feeds the toxicity)  But, I just happen to love, love,  love fruits and veggies anyways.

This whole trip down illness has been an amazing ride, it really has!  Even on the dark days that come, I have learned to honor and accept them, do what is required which is rest (thank goodness for books and bookstands). 

If we could all get what we call "selfish" and take care of what our Spirit needs during this physical life, we would actually find ourselves being "selfless" because we are at our best and bringing out the best in each other.  What do you think?  Sound like fun?

One last note:

I have said on this journey that "you could kill my body, but you will never kill my  Spirit".  Through this physical journey I have learned I am saved by the Spirit within, my true Spirit and the Spirits that gather.  I am living a very Spirited Life and nothing hurts when I live it that way!  Doing my work pulls me out of my pain cycle, and that's why I have to do it every day. 

Even if it is on a small scale.  I really do have the most amazing life, and I know that I am now on my path to wellness and Oneness.