On passings and more....

Yesterday I was wrestling with my niece, and as I grabbed her foot and was pretending to put it in my mouth, she in her little four-year-old voice stated, "Grandpa does that to me all the time." The words hit me like a tonne of bricks. Not because of the loss of my dad, but the profound impact loved ones have in our lives. At that moment, I firmly stated to my niece, "As long as you have your aunty, you will ALWAYS have grandpa eating your toes. You will never be without grandpa." Two things struck me at that very moment. I have always said my childlike play is just like my dad, and it really hit home in that moment. The second was my duty as aunt to keep the memories of "grandpa" alive. Not only for my niece and nephew, but my "children" for as short as the four year relationship was for them and my dad.

One never knows the gifts one will receive when losing someone. Since Valentine's Day I have seen so many remarkable gifts left because of my dad. The most recent coming to light yesterday.

I promised myself that I wasn't going to be one of those people that blogged about how miserable this experience has been, and I think that this occasion isn't. It's about the gifts. The gift life, and the passing of a life, offers.

Whether one believes in life hereafter or not, the legacy of the passed loved one lives within those "left behind" as it were. The gift of love is the truest gift we can give. Right down to expressing it the same way a parent did. What could tear families apart should do nothing but bring them closer together, creating new bonds and new strengths. Strength within ourselves we never knew and the courage to continue to love and grow.

I know I take great comfort in being the blessed combination of two amazing parents. A playfulness like that of my dad's, and a strength likened to that of my mom's. A strength in courage and conviction with light-heartedness of a child. I am truly blessed.

Love your families and love yourself, for when all else fails, they are right there beside you.

Labels, and Titles, and Names, Oh My....

A couple of weeks ago, I ran into someone I gave a mini-read to and was introduced to a family member alongside. Of all the questions to be asked upon meeting someone new, I was greeted with, "And what do you do for a living?". I actually gave pause for a moment, pondering how I was going to broach the subject, knowing full well I am what I am, but what others will think upon the answer is still relatively new turf for me. So, after a moment's thought, I answered, "I'm an intuitive". A quizzical look and an "Oh." were the response.

You see, titles such as Psychic, Intuitive, Medium and Clairvoyant, without hesitation, usually get met with raised eyebrows and usually a posture of skepticism. Particularly with the traditionalist humans of a different generation. Of course, there are always exceptions to that rule, and it can be witnessed when conversing those of the New Age movement with the sixties. Then it's not so bad.

Really, the response and the reaction from others comes down to me. If I treat it as the second nature it is to me, then it becomes "normalized" as it were. The Psychic Movement is coming around again, and it has no choice. We have a younger generation arriving on this planet more in tune than ever before, and far more vocal and accepted ever more so presently.

I have begun to notice a trend amongst the 40-somethings of this world. It's like a little pod of intuitives, all with different intuitive abilities, is waking up. Carolyn Myss summed it up nicely in one of her speeches, stating that the the Fossil Age is ending and the Soul Age is starting. Part of that norm will be intuitives. Intuitives who will lovingly guide and direct those in need of help, hope, and the like. A younger generation with abilities intact and having something to say about it. Young ones that are now being nurtured to embrace their abilities. I say, "Yay!" We as a society about to go through a major overhaul, will have no choice but to open our eyes to a realization that we are spirits inhabiting human form, having a human experience, enjoying human life, until we are called Home.

To me, it stands to make sense that in my own personal truth, that if am a spirit being in a human body, existing here on Earth, until called Home, that on some level we have connection to the true Source (no matter how you name, title, or label Source - God, Yahweh, Goddess, etc.). If we have connection to Source, and are an Intuitive, it makes even more sense to me that there will be humans that can "see" as it were. If Jesus could commune and relay messages, and the Bible can be written from Prophets, why would they cease to exist today? Now, I am not calling myself a Prophet, that would be blasphemous as far as I'm concerned, and downright arrogant. The prophets that belonged to the time of Jesus are the only ones that have that right. I am a vessel, merely that. The information I receive is from a higher source, and I am the conduit.

When I can look into a complete stranger's eyes and tell them things about family or situations, without even knowing them, and I'm not talking vague ideas, but very SPECIFIC details. I can even "remote in" as it were and not even have a person present. As I've talked about before, I firmly believe we all have built-in intuition, our "gut" as it were, and I do believe, like all abilities, it requires training. I know the more readings I do, the stronger I am tuned in.

However, through all of this, I ask, "What's in a name?". For that matter, what's in a "label". Nothing. Like a receptionist, a physiotherapist, or an autobody worker, it is what I do. Simply that. In our human existence we have to have descriptors in order to gain understanding.

It is my hopes that with my blogs and vlogs, that I can "normalize" being an intuitive. I join the ranks, knowing I am not alone (and personally, I'm NEVER alone unless I ask to be), and like Star Trek "Boldly go where no man has gone before" as it were. There have been waypavers like Edgar Cayce, Houdini, and Sylvia Browne and I am grateful. In today's age, we now have "Psychic Investigators" and "Psychic Kids" normalizing intuitives through television programming.

So I ask, what's in a Label, Title or Name. Everything and Nothing. It is merely a descriptor. It gives a visualization to another human being during interactions. I guess being psychic is better than other names I've been called, LOL! And I gladly wear the label, more and more comfortably as each day passes. I am truly blessed.

With Spring comes new hopes, new dreams, and new desires. For everyone. May Spring blessings upon you and your home.

Namaste

On Death and Dying

It's been awhile since my last blog, or vlog for that matter. The last three weeks of my life have been a blur, with the end result losing my father on Valentine's Day. I have decided that I am not going to be one of those people that posts a blog every single day my heart decides to bleed about the circumstance. Our loved ones that pass don't wish that for us. Shy of losing two babies, the events surrounding my father's death were nothing shy of heinous and the worst eleven days of my life I'll never get back. This is the only time I'm going to blog about it. I am going to get busy living my life instead of living each day wallowing in self pity, using my blog as a platform for my grief. Blech!

Do not get me wrong, needing support is needing support, and I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. But I am not going to be one of those ones blogging about tragedy every time I get the chance. That is utterly self destructive. Death is death. It isn't easy. What we choose to do after we lose someone is. We move forward, silently honoring the bad days and living the glorious good days.

My father transitioned quickly, with little cocoon time post trauma. When his heart took its final beat with my mom, my brother and myself by his side, dad was gone. And so ended 70 years of living, 41 years of being a loving husband, 41 years of being one hell of a dad, and 7 years being the most amazing grandpa to four grandchildren.

Seeing the world as I do through psychic eyes, I truly wanted to know that my father spent little time being tucked away for a bit over there to recuperate from his experience, which usually happens . When dad's own coffeemaker called it quits the next day, I knew dad had spent very little time in a cocoon over there. The sign couldn't have been any clearer.

Losing a loved one, regardless of what stage of life (in utero, young, old), is difficult and does have its associated heartache. But it doesn't have to be torture. What it can be is loving. As the days and images surrounding how my dad passed move further away, the harsh memories and images are replaced with the loving thoughts of who my dad was, not how he ended. It is the most loving thing I can do for him and others in my life. The eleven days surrounding my father's passing were not indicative of my father's life. The man who behaved like a kid in a candy shop are the memories I will choose to replace the final days. Those were only final days, they weren't the 70 years leading up to it. My dad loved us like nobody's business and worshipped the ground my mother walked on. He lived a truly fulfilled life and I know that he left with the comfort that we were all taking care of each other, as a family should.

We are allowed to move forward, and we are allowed to be happy. We should want to be happy. Yes, there will be sad days, after all, we are only human. But when a loved one leaves, the last thing they want is for us to be sitting around wallowing in self pity. We have to start living because that is what they wish for us. Missing them is all well and very healthy, but can you imagine the joy a passed loved one must have when seeing us laughing, and embracing every minute of life we have?

Life is a precious commodity and one hell of a place to learn about the human side of things. It isn't easy. Not by any stretch of the imagination. But just because it isn't easy, doesn't mean you can't make it fun.

I loved my dad like nobody's business, and it won't be the same without him here. But I am eternally grateful that his bright light is busy shining on the other side. He will always be with me sharing my crazy adventures in life, protecting me when necessary, and laughing when things get really silly. I love you dad!

The Hospital Experience - From An Observer's Standpoint

In trying to infuse my life with spirituality so my gifts of intuitiveness grow, I have started taking on the role of an observer when stuck in the middle of "ick" as it were. I've decided to give an inside peek of what experiences occur when one sees what is beyond the physical plane.

During my 24-hour stay in the hospital, I spent the first several hours jacked up on morphine for the pain that was plaguing me. Anyways, as an intuitive, adding a drug that alters your state comes at a very bizarre price for an intuitive. The walls that I work so hard to keep around me in order to keep myself psychically protected come down. When I recognized this during my stay, I used one of my coping mechanisms to shut the din of thoughts off. You see, my abilities get amped up as it were, and it can be overwhelming, so I work hard during times like that to not get bombarded. What I do, is turn myself into the observer in order to just watch the experience instead of be part of it. What I saw was amazing.

I was in an area for overnight observation in case it was appendicitis or infection starting, and it was an area continually on the move. Doctors, nurses, specialists, people in extreme pain, broken people, very sick people. As I lay there watching, I tuned in to various conversations around the room, and what I heard was amazing. I watched the amazing staff at the hospital treat all patients, regardless of what they were in for, with dignity and respect. And what happened with the patients was a reflection of that. A quiet, calm, respectful environment. The doctors were kind and considerate, the nursing staff worked right alongside gracefully and there just seemed to be a symphony of care going on. It was AMAZING!

I guess it goes to show you that angels take all forms and we need to be grateful for what they do. We have to stop and think that we should all know that these brave souls, angels as they were, know that they work in a system that is broken, and continuing to break, but they plug along, smiles on their faces, doing the best that they can. It's angelic, really.

I am truly grateful for my gift of seeing what is beyond, and the growth I am experiencing through tough times. Letting go of egoic behaviors, so that I may live a life of love.

Namaste

A New Day, A New Challenge

So, in an effort to brave life head on, I am going to share a very intimate story with you.

DISCLAIMER: This is very sensitive information not for young eyes.

I had to have a colonoscopy yesterday. Yes, I've said it. A colonoscopy. I had been in the hospital last week with severe stomach pain. A CT had ruled out a kidney issue (I was born with one for those who didn't know that), and an ultrasound had ruled out ovary issues during last week's 24-hour visit. So, the only two tests to run were first, a colonoscopy; and second, a laproscopy. The colonoscopy happened yesterday as stated above.

When the amazing specialist came in for her pre-procedure chat, we went through history and then she ran some palpation. Turned out I have a trigger point in my groin and everything is still recovering from my hysterectomy last year. Scar tissue is a be-atch! Anyways, the doc asked me if I still wanted to go through with the procedure as she was sure she wouldn't find anything. I looked at her and said, "I'm here, we'll still do this." Besides, I just finished a NASA experience 24 hours before with Go-Lytely (I wonder if the people recommending this have ever taken it, there is nothing "lyte" about it). Just google Billy Connolly talking about a colonoscopy. He has it down perfect! Anyways, the doc agreed given all the physical ailments presenting themselves as of late. Besides, I needed to have diverticulitis clearly ruled out. It was.

However, I looked at my post-op sheet upon waking to be told they found a polyp. News I wasn't expecting. At first, and I think it was the post-drugged state, I didn't think it really bothered me. Today, I found myself a blubbering mess, scared that now I have to wait for news of whether it is benign or not. The idea scares the living daylights out of me.

With that said though, when the tears finished, my new thought pattern in training came through. It was that new found strength I've had from deep inside. The one that says after moments like this, "It's okay to be scared, you weren't expecting that. Thanks for honoring the feelings, you won't cry about it anymore." It is the Will of the Spirit that sustains us at moment's like this. And I have to tell you, I believe I have one HELL of a spirit.

The other thing I realized that I needed to do was not be afraid to share this story. I have walked around "pussyfooting" as it were, for all my life. Worrying about alarming people, worrying about whether people like me or not, etc. etc. Well, no more. This is my moment of finding out who I really am and what I'm really made of. I'm sure I'll have my moments throughout this process called life. But I'm okay with that too. I'm beginning to realize that emotions are a beautiful thing. While they don't have to be overwhelming, emotions can be very healing. To love is to be human. And love can be shown with so many different emotions.

I have a life that is very important to me. Regardless of what ailments I might have signed up for. I can't be afraid to have my pity party or shed a few tears, but I also have to have the strength to dust myself off and get going again. Of course, once we get my meds right for the AS, ha ha ha!!!!!

It's so fun. I think I have reached my physical ailment Trifecta! How appropriate seems how within all of us are three sides - masculine, feminine, and spirit. It is the Yin and Yang of life. None of us have it easy over here. None of us are immune to the human experience. None of us. But what we do with this experience is up to us. Regardless of loss, illness, or hardship, it is our personal responsibility to dust ourselves off, stop wallowing in self pity and realize that there is more to life than what's going wrong. We have to look at what's going right.

I've been told I have a way of sugar-coating the truth. I don't consider it sugar-coating. If I were to run around being negative and telling it like it is without being loving about it, then I am not contributing to a healthier planet. I don't want to be one of those people running around spouting off about all the things going wrong. I've written this blog because I am 41 years old and had to have a colonoscopy. The usual age the Canadian Cancer Society recommends someone go in for a colonoscopy is 50. Could you imagine if I hadn't had a scope for another 9 years? What would my polyp have done? It may have been too late. I write this particular blog for two very important reasons. My life and the sake of others. Things have got to improve on this planet when it comes to medical care. And maybe, just by being brave enough to share this story, it may spur others on to become better advocates for their healthcare. We have been given the precious gift of life. We have the right to live happy and fulfilled lives. Part of that happy and fulfilled life is our strong will to survive as human beings on this planet, no matter what the hardship. I am grateful to be alive. Are you?

Wow....

So, it's been awhile since my last blog (or vlog for that matter). The autoimmune disease that is attacking my body is creating moments of inability to do anything but rest. It is times like these where I end up "disconnected". I meditate every day, pray every day, and talk to my angels and guides EVERY day, but I shut down for a bit in order to reserve my energy and get feeling better. I have one more test to complete this week (oddly enough, first time I wrote "weak" and corrected the grammar) and then I am finished with being poked and prodded. I refuse to have any more done. I feel like a human pin cushion.

In the last two weeks I have gone to a Low Starch Diet in order to do my part to make myself as better as possible, and oddly enough as I was cooking today, the perfect thought came to me. And just so you know, I don't consider myself religious, but I am spiritual. I have tried my hand at a few mainstream religions, and I have learned some valuable things. But again, I don't conform well to "color between the lines". I like coloring outside the lines.

So to get back to the thought, a scripture came to mind. "Though I may be weak in body, through You I am strong in spirit". That thought hit home on two fronts. One - I should tell people who I consider "You" to be. For me, that You encompasses more than one. I firmly believe that Source is both male and female if one had to label it. When we are spirit, there are no identifiers such as these. We just are. It is the human side of existence that feels the need to label everything in order to identify with it. I'll talk more about that in another blog about ego and attachment.

But back to the thought,what I was again reminded of at that scripture, was that I needed to remind myself that the human part of our lives is the imperfect experience. And that's the second point. It isn't going to be easy. Not always. And it depends on just what kind of a path one has chosen before coming over. But there will, and should be, experiences that challenge our spirit. And what we need to do, at that very moment, is turn to Spirit. I don't care if it's painting, meditation, or skydiving. Whatever it is that makes you feel connected to the Oneness we come from, do it!

The one thing that we must remember is that regardless of what we are going through, we must address our spiritual well being. And when that thought came to me today, and I said to someone, "I may be weak in body, but strong in spirit", I realized something VERY important. When I recognized that moment of a two year old having a tantrum at feeling like an 80 year (which is actually the 41-year old paining to type this out), I remembered that scripture. And the minute I said it out loud, my pain decreased ever so slightly. So please, honor when you have a bad day. As a good friend told me, "Stop comparing your 'lesser' problems to someone's bigger problems. You are having a bad day, and it's okay to have a bad day". Just don't dwell on it.

Here are some easy recommendations coming from the voice of experience:

Set up a Three Strike Rule with your friends - You are only allowed to gripe about one subject three times in your friendship. Unless of course we are talking about serious matters surrounding death and dying.

Mourning - I firmly believe in the old fashioned way of mourning. Back in the days of loss, a widow was dressed in black for one year. After that one year, the time of mourning was over. It was time to move forward. Even remarry. We have a right to miss and grieve our loved ones when they pass. But I think it's healthy to move forward. It doesn't mean letting go, it just means moving forward. Rest assured they are right along your side every day. It's okay to miss them. It's okay to grieve. But there comes a time when one must pull themselves up and say, "Grandma wouldn't want me to be sad she'd be telling me to get out there and I will!" It is the most loving thing we can do for them. To help ease the heartache associated with the loss, try saying "I am so blessed grandma has gone Home". Take comfort that they are in perfect form and perfect health.

While I can't speak to any recent loss, my grandmother is almost ready to return Home, and I have had significant losses in my lifetime, so I feel pretty confident addressing this issue. I have had to mourn the loss of a career I truly love as I watch my hands start to twist and pain any time I put pressure on them. I feel like a human tens machine some days, and have been mourning the loss of my health. Until today. Because I realized I have something far better than anything being thrown at me this very moment, and that is a strong spirit. A spirit that never dies.......

The Wounded Warrior - A Path of Choosing

So, your day is always going to be interesting when your doctor phones you at home. It seems we are probably barking up the wrong tree with the health concerns I've been having. Many years ago, and under a different physician's care, I tested positive for an antigen called HLA-B27. I was also, around that time, diagnosed with iritis (eye inflammation) and was subsequently treated for that in the form of steroidal eye drops. Anyways, my current doctor (amazing by the way) rung me up today to discuss these two incidents in my old file. Apparently, testing positive for this antigen can mean a rheumatoid arthritis called Ankylosing Spondylitis. Whoa, wait a minute, me? WOW!

So, as I moped around the house for a little bit (I'd say about an hour which is really an accomplishment for me - learning to spin it positively faster), placing a few necessary phone calls to debrief, I took some time to just breathe. And then it hit me. TWO genetic diseases which cannot be controlled? WOW!

But what came after this was a new thought form to me. In many books about some of our truly gifted beings on this planet, it is often talked that those that come to inhabit pain bodies, get the trade off. The trade off of all tradeoffs. Healing gifts. Words that inspire, words that share wisdom, and a light so bright it's almost blinding.

Let's take Stephen Hawkings as a primary example. He is a wounded warrior that is brilliant beyond any and all comprehension in the realms of science. I wonder if he would trade all of that in to have a non-pain body? I doubt it.

Now, I am not saying I am comparable to these kinds of people, but, what if it is the yin and yang of life. "You will have great gifts, but you will reside in a pain body in trade". NOTHING in life is perfect. Having my physical being go sideways has given me a greater understanding of pain bodies. And, more importantly, when I don't feel well, I am still. It is in that time I receive my next blog, vlog or idea for expanding this realm. I get messages from loved ones on the other side, and when I do my best channeling of information to share. Being still is a new experiencing for me, and while it's not how I envisioned it, I chose it, before I arrived. Isn't that amazing?!

And would I trade it all in? NOT on your life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Namaste